Taming Your Inner Dragon
Have you ever been to the city of Krakow? It is a wonderful historic town in the south of Poland. I have recently spent five wonderful days there, at the ATL Europe Conference. ATL stands for Association of Transformational Leaders of Europe and I adore all our gatherings.
After arriving to Krakow on Thursday, my two friends and I took a walk through the old town. Although the end of October, the weather was warm and we just felt enwrapped in a lovely sunny afternoon atmosphere. The energy of the town felt amazing – with every step through the streets reserved for pedestrians and horse carriages only, we felt more and more at ease. Beautiful old buildings, parks, lanterns, street musicians playing violins, pots with flowers, cute cafes and restaurants… just taking in all the views, sounds and scents made us feel relaxed, as if the town had completely opened its heart to us.
The whole conference was also filled with the similar energy – so much support between us members.
There is a story…
But… but… As we visited the big fortification – Castle and Cathedral on the Wawel Hill, we learned the story about the dragon. A legend says (and is backed up by the strange fossil bones found at the site, that belong to no known animal) that once upon a time there was a big dragon living in the den under the castle. The dragon was dangerous, so the villagers decided to bring him young girls as a sacrifice, so that he wouldn’t attack the village. The dragon kept the whole area in terror until one day, a shoemaker tricked him to eat a sheep filled with hot coals. Dragon, burning from the inside, ran out of his cave to the river to drink a lot of water. And drowned. The village was finally free.
“Oh yes” – I thought hearing the story – “that’s why Krakow had such a warm and open energy! It’s because it freed itself from the pressure of its dragon.” And suddenly I had a very clear picture about the same thing happening to us all. The dragon story was a wonderful metaphor of our inner critic!
In all of us, there is a part, that we could name the inner dragon. It is a kind of energy entity created a long time ago, formed by all the authorities from our childhood (and life) that communicated to us that we were not good enough. And it took on a life of its own. That dragon is trying to keep you small, it whispers in your ear that you are not worthy enough, you are not significant – others are more, better, things are easier for them. But you – don’t ever dare to think you are great, that your light is precious, because…the dragon points it’s claw – look how special, capable, clever, beautiful etc. some other person is!
Sometimes your inner dragon will even orchestrate someone else’s rejection of you to prove that he is right. He’ll engage in finding proof to his points at every corner.
At the meetings like ATL where there are so many successful and spiritual people, you would maybe expect that they have no dragons inside. But if that is what you think – it’s your dragon speaking.
Because we all have them. But the difference is how we treat them. Do we give them our power and allow them to keep us trapped in their dan and believe in their claims that we are small and undeserving, or we tamed our dragon and (although we know it is there) it doesn’t have a real power over us any more.
So, how is your dragon doing? Lurking to get his chance to belittle you or sleeping in its corner knowing that he doesn’t stand the chance?
When does your dragon show itself the most? When you significantly step out of its cave! When you dare to be big and reach for all that you feel you deserve. When you summon courage and step out of the old and known, of your safe small self, when you allow yourself to believe that you are more than good enough, that you matter.
What to do?
So how should we treat our dragons, when they start their talk? Deny them, fight them, escape them, drown them? My suggestion is: none of the above. Just recognize them and decide to not to take them seriously. Play with them. Enjoy the fact that you have your own dragon. Laugh at it. When you catch yourself comparing yourself to another, remember it’s your dragon speaking and imagine smiling at him and patting him on the head. And remind yourself that all other people too have their own dragons inside.
A wonderful thing that happened at ATL meeting was that everyone kind of admitted their dragons. All of us let others see that we are not perfect, that each of us also needs help and support, no matter how much we are used to provide it for others. And there, feeling and seeing each other’s dragons, we were able to connect more than ever before. To open, to reach, to hug.
Hiding your inner dragon separates you from others, but if you let it spontaneously show, it is liberating for everyone.
It is so good to see clearly: my fear of being not good enough is not unique, not something to be ashamed of or hide – it is a common thread that connect us all.
So let’s bring out our dragons and play!
